what, not why...

Wes is my eldest son. In the early hours of 26 January 2014, he died in a road accident. Based on witness and police accounts, Wes had lost conciousness instantly. He couldn't be revived and passed away at the scene.

In a second, life became meaningless. Overwhelming grief, horror and pain kept in check only by things we had to do. There were people we had to tell; those for whom a phone call would just be too unbearable. Wes's brother, his mother and I did the best we could before collapsing in a heap at a good friends' house.

As the morning wore on, there were others to tell. Each phone call made it worse. Why, I kept asking myself, why, why? Wes was 2 weeks away from his 23rd birthday. He was a happy, optimistic, positive, creative, healthy young man with a ready smile. He had everything to live for.

Then it dawned on me slowly. It's not why, it's what. The hundreds of messages, phone calls and visits made by people, telling us what Wes meant to them. Clearly, he left a positive impression on everyone's life. Wes did everything he had planned to do; what he wanted to achieve, he had in his efficient, pleasing way. He was a talented musician, playing in a couple of bands, an artist, writer and cricketer. Wes had a big heart. He always put others first.

Earlier in January, on a whim, I arranged to meet Wes for dinner at the pub where he worked as assistant manager. We had a lovely time, full of laughter and conversation. I texted him to say how much I enjoyed our time together. He sent this reply:

"It was great to see you too. Glad it was quiet enough to have a chat! Sorry I've taken awhile to get back to you...good luck with your eye appointment x"

I replied:

"Likewise, my lofty friend. Hope you got the bike home. Have been spreading the word. Put some pics of your bro at the gig on FB xx"

God bless you, my wonderful son. I love you more than words can describe. Take care until we meet again. Farewell, my lofty friend.

to hs2 or not to hs2...

British democracy is a strange thing. It gives you and me a right to question everything. Power in the hands of ordinary folk and all that....

Having said that, it is also a mechanism for wasting time, money and a huge excuse for nimbyism. About 20 years ago, the proposed Avon ring road went uncomfortably close to where I was living in south Gloucestershire. The government and local authorities had been delayed by wrangling along the way with assorted pressure groups. Despite this, local roads were upgraded and fears grew about increased traffic and loss of business.

True, traffic increased. That was likely due to increased vehicle ownership per household. Local businesses actually expanded, as quick deliveries were now possible. Journeys from the northern border of south Gloucesterhire to south Bristol were now done in minutes, rather than the 1.25 hours it used to take. Pity a light railway wasn't built alongside.

More people were in the area, possibly lured by the carphone warehouse/next/new look/pc world et al type of retail parks just off the ring road. When bored of that, they often ended in a local pub, restaurant or small shop. It took the main local bus operator 15 years to make the most of this. They are now trying, at least, but being Firstgroup, obviously they know everything except how to run an affordable and reliable service.

Everyone's worst fears didn't materialise. I was saddened a bit; the ring road ploughed through farms and fields where my youngsters and I went for rambles to look at moo-cows and red tractors. Now, one youngster rides a 700cc motorbike on the ring road to and from work. I hope he remembers some of the time spent playing in these fields with his old man.

Whether HS2 will bring perceived benefits to all areas remains to be seen. But not to build it seems utterly foolish. Successful countries have fast rail links to most regions. Of the ones I've used, there have never been delays because a high speed train had been stuck behind a slow-running choochoo...

doctors accuse govt of huge cuts in surgeries' spending

Some years ago, my quick-thinking General Practitioner (GP) spotted what were early signs of pancreatic cancer. It's often misdiagnosed as diabetes. Had that happened, someone else would be writing this, I guess... If he did that with me, it's very likely he spotted many other cancer conditions early.

My feeling is that my GP was on a good salary. I know he has 3 children and we frequently spoke about him funding their aspirations. He retired this year. I'll miss him.

I'm not concerned about what salaries GPs earn. All of them would have gone through 7 or 8 years of training. I feel that if they are willing to invest that length of time getting skills in caring for others, then a high salary is not a bad thing. Far more than that is earned by couldn't-give-a-toss Investment Bankers and the Vice-Chancellor of Bath university.

Cutting GP budgets is a retrograde step that will benefit no one. It's an odd thing to do,  given the previous promises of giving GPs more control. Clearly, they didn't mean more money.

the next stop is easier...

Three weeks ago, I felt a little uneasy having eye surgery. Thanks to skilled surgeons, all seemed to go well. That uneasiness turned to anxiety when my dearest mother was taken to hospital, following a minor stroke. This anxiety deepened further when my mum was readmitted to hospital, following earlier surgery. Deep anxiety turned to deeper sorrow when mum passed away peacefully, 48 hours later.

Today, my brother and I arranged Mum's funeral. It was a day neither of us wanted to happen. Being businesslike had to take priority - many wishes and details to consider - emotions put back to do this as efficiently as we could.  I won't pretend it was easy. A big, big thank you to everyone for being so kind, supportive and understanding.

Then a Facebook status update from my eldest son: "2:1. That'll do." He has passed his degree!  I never had any doubts - he worked hard! Suddenly, anxiety, sorrow and stress get tempered with feelings of pride and happiness. Soon, sadness follows. His Grandma won't be here to make a big fuss of my son.  But I will do that in her place...I know she would have been very proud of him.

For the past weeks, my emotions have been like travelling on rush-hour public transport: crowded together; little room to manoeuvre or be comfortable. Yet I know that as a train, bus or tram nears outer suburbs, its load invariably lightens; leaving more room.  I can almost hear the announcement:"....this is the service to Your life. The next stop(step) is Easier...."

bad weather?

Britain faces a wintry weekend as heavy rain, strong winds and up to 8cm of snow expected to affect much of country - The Guardian

I'm expecting these headlines:

• Daily Mail - "UK covered in snow due to large number of immigrants from Arctic region."
• The Sun - "They stole all my good weather, says Kelly, 26, mother of 5..."
• Daily Star - "Sunshine snubs Britain."
• Daily Mirror - "Exclusive: Snow falls on Good Friday"
• The Express -" Cheers as snowfall boosts chances of day off for millions..."
• The Times - "Snow falls as...[To see full headline, you need to subscribe]
• The Independent - "Osborne defends his snowfall budget..."
• The Telegraph - "UK flies 1 million snowflakes to Cyprus."

happiest man alive!!!

ok. it's all my fault...

Immigrants and those on benefits get blamed whenever there's an economic slump. They are an easy and 'visible' target to be derided. Yet the truth lies elsewhere.

Most economic slumps follow greed-based booms. This one is no exception. To put that right, you need to sort out tax-evasion and similar behaviour. It seems odd to me - though I'm no economist - that at a time when there are are more billion and millionaires, the country is apparently struggling. Clearly, most of these rich people must be 'stealing' from, rather than 'stimulating' the economy.

As an immigrant who has been here for more than 3 decades, I'm used to my demographic being blamed for most things. No worries though. In a few years, when I can get my pension, I may just go back to where I came from. I don't think I want to be the cause of economic distress, lack of jobs, extremism or rising crime. With unbelievable advances in technology, I can just as easily be a nuisance to family and friends via skype on a huge, web-ready tv.

When Dr Lorna Rixon recently shared on her Facebook wall a letter blaming immigrants, refugees and asylum-seekers for lack of decent state pensions,  (Daily Mail's version) comments made on Facebook shares - you'll have to login to your FB account to see them - speak for themselves. I naturally put forward another view. In it I explained that immigration is often a result of host countries colonising others in the past and playing empire games, leaving them politically divided and economically bereft.

It's puzzling why those who are highly educated  - and work on projects in areas with a high immigrant population - would subscribe to such a view. Perplexing when attempts at discovering that are met with:"...... I am requesting that you never contact me again. If you do I will be forced to consider other options which I do not intend to spell out here."

More worrying was a comment from Thames Valley Police officer Adam Ellis - who calls himself 'David Smith' on  Facebook - which suggested that "all immigrants and spongers should leave and shut the door behind them." I'm guessing the Thames valley area has immigrants, unemployed and people receiving benefits. Looks like they've just got themselves another challenge.... but hopefully, not one like this...


Related:
Thames Valley Police: Policing to stereotype?  metro.co.uk

What Kinds of Immigrants Come or Stay? Illegality and UK Tabloid Portrayal of Immigrants
Will Allen, Research Officer, Migration Observatory, University of Oxford

Immigration is a messy human story  Kiri Kankhwende   theguardian.com

Minister dismisses fears of new year tide of Romanians and Bulgarians migrants - independent.co.uk

We may not like Britain, but you will love Romania  gandul.info campaign.  huffingtonpost.co.uk

Iranian disabled immigrant, victim of British police deliberate failure IRIB World Sevice

Police Officers deny racially aggravated assault autistic Asian man  BBC News

Police accused of ‘institutional racism’ towards Romanies  independent.co.uk

Immigration: Could we – should we – stop migrants coming to Britain? theguardian.com

blowing an immigration 'dog whistle'?

Ultimately, this is not just about immigration to the UK. People will always seek safer and better lives for themselves. I arrived in Britain over 3 decades ago from a former colony, which was politically unstable. The reasons for its instability can be laid squarely at Europe's feet.

While I was fortunate enough to make most of the chances available, it would have been useful then to have been given a chance of legitimately working. Instead, I was treated like a petty criminal  every time I mentioned the 'e' word. Yet, personal resourcefulness stopped me from being a state burden.

Europe, including the UK and most of the so-called 'developed' world, continue to exploit my country. UK has vast manufacturing interests there, yet fails to pay workers the recommended minimum wage. It gets around this by hiring workers though 'local' contractors. I cant begin to imagine what  tax avoidance must be like.

By perpetuating old colonial methods, deliberately keeping people poor simply by not giving them a living wage or a fair price for their goods, the UK is creating conditions for further immigration. Naturally, at the earliest possible opportunity, many of these people will try and 'escape' their 60p-a-day lives. Before you say "that's a lot of money out there", consider this:  the only way you are going to pay rent or a mortgage, food, transport, energy, medical and other expenses for yourself and 2 children is to top-up your 60p a day working for Marks&Spencer by another 120p borrowed at unbelievable cost....

More at: guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/nov/22/politicians-put-down-immigration-dog-whistle

whizz-kids!!

Whizz-kids, a charity that helps children with a disabilities lead full lives, puts its aim simply as:"... to ensure that every disabled child has an opportunity to be something special…a kid."  Doing that needs money - lots of it. So what better way than to have 2 'whizz kids' - people who have overcome great personal challenges themselves - raise money for them at the Virgin London Marathon in April 2013?

Lorna Rixon is a keen runner. While doing her PhD, running took a lower priority, as did her usual healthy lifestyle. It wasn't long before Lorna found herself overweight, over-exhausted and overwhelmed. It took tremendous tenacity, determination and hard work  to turn her life around while completing her doctorate and working full-time. Lorna is now nearly  32 kgs lighter and regularly runs 25 Km. In her justgiving page, Lorna says:"...I have gone from not being able to run 26 steps on a treadmill, to now attempting to run over a 26 mile marathon. I would now like to celebrate my improved health, whilst raising money for a great cause. "

Jeanne Barrett takes last summer's Paralympics as her inspiration. " It made me to want to do something for kids and  Whizz-Kidz seemed like the right charity to make a difference in at least one child’s life" she says. Coming from a family of 11, Jeanne adds in her justgiving page;"...our family has been fortunate, but when I think of how special kids are in this world, my heart just says YES.  Kids are the future – we need to do what we can to help them."  A one -time dance teacher of children aged 3 - 14, Jeanne knows how vital a part confidence plays in shaping young lives.

Whizz kids running for whizz-kids deserve a whizzing lot of cash. If you are inspired by these two whizz kids as I am, then I hope you will whizz all the money you can can spare to help whizz-kids.

More at:  justgiving.com/Lorna-Rixon and justgiving.com/Jeanne-Barrett

don't go yet

In Summer 2008, a mix up with rail tickets brought me to London on an unplanned visit. It was a lovely, sunny day and at the height of 'sales'. London's Oxford circus was crowded and all seemed well.

Having found what I considered the best bargain in a long time - a 50 GBP 'designer' hoodie for 14.99 - I queued to pay for it. Then suddenly, I felt I had to leave that shop and head for the cemetery in Surrey where my dad is buried.

My dad died suddenly in 1988. Although his health was failing, it was a complete shock to my family. By that time, I was speaking to dad on the phone every other day. He and I successfully bridged the 240 km geographical gap between us.

Picking up flowers en route, I went to dad's grave. Having tended it for around 40 minutes, I placed them on it. I was about to leave, when an overwhelming thought came flooding into my head. It simply said:"don't go yet." I sat on a bench nearby, in the warm sunshine; checked my text and phone messages. I wasn't thinking of anything in particular. About an hour later, I stood up to leave. The thought was no longer there.

Friends and others I know have offered explanations. Maybe it was a supernatural experience; some sort of warning; something to get me away from Oxford st...? I keep an open mind. Robert Lanza MD, has a theory that we don't actually die; just our body does. Our energy simply 'slips' into a parallel existence. So from there, is it possible we can selectively communicate?

More at robertlanza.com

Sri Lanka through cricket... An interview with Commonwealth Writers 2012 Book Prize winner

Kris...

Kris Shah's recent death after a short illness completely stunned me when I heard about it.

It must be at least 15 years since I first met Kris. Working then for a university spin-off, it was inevitable our paths would cross. I spent a fair time zipping-in-and-out of a shared computer room. Kris' gentle sense of humour often helped sort what seemed pressing issues at the time; lack of resources and network capacity. Kris always had time to hear me.

Our chats were not just about fibre optic cables - they soon become philosophical. I was not as patient with the university; Kris had a more relaxed view. He accepted easier than me that a bigger ship would take longer to turn. When a director's job became available, I urged him to apply. I'm not sure if he did. Maybe the mandatory daily lunchtime at a bar - which seemed an intrinsic part of that job - didn't appeal to him.

When someone once mistook me for Kris and discussed at great length, a meeting they had been to earlier, I told him about it. We wondered how long we could carry on this interchangeability before anyone noticed. At his funeral, someone asked me if I was Kris' brother. Although I said no, the broader answer is yes. When Kris once remarked that I dressed "like a student", I countered with:"...well, it's better than dressing like an old man...."  Kris was definitely like a brother.

I miss him a lot more than I'll probably write about. At his funeral, I felt we celebrated a life well-lived, rather than mourn a sad loss.

Rest in peace, Kris. Huge respect.

using a bus...

This is horrendous. Anyone who thinks that cyclists are the cause of all evil and that everyone panders to their whims, should think again....Mercifully, the cyclist escaped with his life.

While you can't condemn the whole company for one employee's actions, I wonder what kind of quality monitoring they do on staff, performance and fleet. Bath-based Buglers coaches ran the no 500 service bus involved in this incident. Thankfully, Bristol city council recently made it a cutback.



In the past, buglers have run the 532/533 services in South Glos from Keynsham to Staple Hill. Their commitment to quality was poor:

Buglers' Minibus  |  Midibus

Whenever I used these, I found the vehicles shoddy and badly driven. Re-registering them to disguise their age isn't a solution. I'm glad the contract passed onto Wessex connect.

In the absence of an integrated transport authority, you are reliant on traffic commissioners to monitor standards. Doesn't appear as if much of it happens in Bristol or Bath.

not all public sector work has good benefits...

first 'first'

Congratulations to my nephew who gained a first class degree from Bristol. This is tremendously good news and we are all extremely proud of his significant achievement! I'm pleased he continued to work hard through, what must have at times, seemed daunting challenges. As far as I know, this is the first 'first' in our families.

It's also good that he achieved this at a progressive university; one where widening participation is a reality. It must be rewarding to work in an environment that includes people from all of UK's communities. I know other universities where multiculturalism is defined merely by the number of overseas students recruited. Taking on more students from abroad doesn't make a university multicultural; it just adds income. Sometimes, you are doing that at an unacceptable cost to the undeniable talent which makes up UK's diverse community home students....

stoking the croft

This may seem radical, but surely Avon & Somerset Police chief Colin Port's visit should have been made before? It's easy to visit and say things after events like these. If you genuinely want to engage with a local community, then you do that all the time, not just in the aftermath of flashpoints.

Whether Tesco is any worse than other supermarket giants, I'm unsure about. All seem to forget ethics and common standards of decency when they source goods from poorer countries. I have seen this at firsthand.

In a SE London area I know, smaller retail businesses are doing well despite being a few metres away from one of the biggest tesco stores in the capital. Maybe consumer behaviour patterns are different to those of stokes croft. Crime is high in that area where rich and poor are polarised, but so far, rioting has not been a feature....

shame, but....

For those of us who watched this unbelievably exciting yet at times, frustrating match, willing Sri Lanka to win, the result is disappointing. But my admiration goes to all those who played such amazing cricket! This is what the game is all about. :-)

looking good!

A 10- wicket win over England put Sri Lanka against New Zealand in the semis. Although New Zealand can turn things around at the last minute, this was a decisive victory for Sri Lanka with 3.3 overs and 5 wickets to spare.

Saturday 2 April final against host-nation India promises to be nail-biting. Teams are evenly matched, making it almost impossible to predict an outcome. Pakistan's captain Shahid Afridi says the strength of both teams are too close to make a call.

It's time to hoist the flag in this quiet village, don blue-and-gold shirts and make as much noise as possible. One thing's for sure; this all-Asian world cup cricket final is going to be hugely exciting!

thanks!

Hi Alison - thanks for visiting so frequently!

summer breeze...